My Hot Mess is My Fault...
Focus Verse: Acts 4: 12
Nor is there salvation in any other, for there is no other name under heaven given among men by which we must be saved.
When I studied this verse a few weeks ago, I wrote in my journal, “God has given us Jesus, what else do you need?”
But so often, I miss the point, and I start seeking something else. I pray to be a better mom or a better wife or a better author or … fill in the blank. Each day, I just want to get better.
And because I am a fixer, I want to find what is broken in each of these areas so I can fix it.
One of the things I am constantly trying to fix is motherhood. Or, let me be honest. It’s my kids. I’m really just trying to fix my kids.
And lately, I have become a voicebox in my own home, repeating phrases over and over. My family is so used to my talking or
shouting or ranting or goings-on that no one hears me anymore. They don’t remember (or don’t hear) the first ten times I made a request in a clear, concise, kind manner, but react with a “there she goes again” roll of the eyes when I finally lose my….temper.
None of us wants to raise snot-nosed little knuckleheads that will take more than they give to society. If you’re a Christian, you try to raise your children to love Jesus, to love others the way Jesus loves them, but don’t necessarily tie Jesus to folding the towels. Or why keeping your arms off the table during a meal is considered good manners. Or that their short years of experience do not convince you they know best. (Now I’m rolling my eyes).
But, these are the moments that take from the energy that is on reserve for more important moments, like teaching them that “God makes people right with himself through their faith in Jesus Christ” (Romans 3:22 NCV)
So, I am slowly, slowly letting go (last week’s blog) of my irrational, controlling-every-move-so-they-don’t-end-up-being-little-jerks, behaviors.
And for as much as I love Jesus, I am painfully slow to apply his teachings in my own home. I am painfully slow in accepting that the only fix I need in my life is more Jesus.
I want to understand God’s omnipresence outside the realm that he is “everywhere”, and see and from the perspective that his omnipresence is throughout all time.
I might be able to then let go of what I cannot control about their past, present and future.
I might then be able to relinquish my responsibility to raise productive members of society, and turn it instead to raising God-fearing children. I’ve broken my own “Because, not So That” rule. I’ve raised them to follow all the right rules so that they can be God-Fearing members of society, rather than raising them to follow the rules because they are God-Fearing members of society.
And while I sure hope they come home every now and then and call me to seek wise counsel, I am also hopeful they have also learned that the only fix is in the presence of God and that the good news is, he is Omnipresent.
I hope I keep learning that I can’t fix myself or 5-step my way into being a better mother. I hope the every day God convicts my heart of this control and fills it instead with more Jesus. That I replace a little planning with a little more praise. Replace a little worry with a little more worship.
I pray that you and I can meditate on his words as powerful gifts for our hearts and souls and not only as application tools we should add to our “To do” list in order to be better.
Will you seek Him this week? Can you promise to not DO this week? Only pray and study and listen and then wait patiently? Who is committed to doing that this week?
Pray that these verses seep into your heart, take you captive, convict you and that the Holy Spirit take root deep within you:
Be joyful because you have hope. Be patient when trouble comes, and pray at all times.
If anyone belongs to Christ, there is a new creation. The old things have gone; everything is made new!
2 Corinthians 5:17
But because of his great love for us, God, who is rich in mercy, 5 made us alive with Christ even when we were dead in transgressions—it is by grace you have been saved.
That Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith; that you, being rooted and grounded in love, may be able to comprehend with all the saints what is the width and length and depth and height—to know the love of Christ which passes knowledge; that you may be filled with all the fullness of God.
Thank you for joining me this week! If this touched your heart, I'd love to hear from you in the comments below! Next week, I will take a look at Marriage as I approach my 19th wedding anniversary.
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