Focus Verse: Proverbs 3:5-6 Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and lean not on your own understanding; In all your ways acknowledge Him, and He shall direct your paths.
As I prayed over this verse, I quickly concluded that I did not trust the Lord with all my heart.
I trust Him in my ways¸ however, particularly where it comes to my children’s ways, I clearly say, “I’ve got this”.
That smart mouth? The bad grade? The laziness? The Attitude? I've got this.
Because that is what I thought the bible was teaching me.
And much to my children's dismay, I have made this one my Mother Verse: You shall teach them diligently to your children, and shall talk of them when you sit in your house, and when you walk by the way, and when you lie down, and when you rise. Deuteronomy 6:7
I can remember walking with my kids through the woods and telling them about Jesus and how we should behave because we love them. And I can remember swinging them at the park singing Sunday School Songs. I remember pulling them in the wagon and asking about their trouble at school and how they might be able to do it differently. I remember teaching them how to pray each night before they went to bed. I had Deuteronomy 6:7 down. I've got this.
But at some point I failed to notice that they did not need the same instruction as Junior High Kids as they needed as elementary school kids. And I was no where close to understanding that they didn't need the same instruction in High School.
And let's be honest, I'm pretty sure they might need more instruction.
And somewhere along the way, discipline and instruction just changed. My son doesn't sit on his bed listening contritely to instruction from my husband and I. Instead now, he sighs and rolls his eyes and patronizingly agrees to never do XYZ again and then asks, "Can I go now?" and we watch him sail out the door.
He hasn't heard a word we've said.
What happens next could be pivotal. My husband braces for my response. Will I shake my head and go on about my day? Will I give him the wifely look and tell him that I would have like to have had some support in the last two weeks so that it didn't come to this? Or will I stomp off and mumble under my breath that I guess I'll just wait for my son's wife to come to me crying, "Why!? Why didn't you teach him not to pee on the toilet seat and throw his trash in the trash can?!"
At what point did I forget Proverbs 3:5-6?
Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and lean not on your own understanding; In all your ways acknowledge Him, and He shall direct your paths.
When did I forget to instruct him and then go straight into prayer that he "hears the rebukes of life" to abide among the wise (Proverbs 15:31&32)?
When did I forget to praise him in the raising up of a child? Psalm 127: "Children are a heritage from the Lord, the fruit of the womb a reward".
I need to go back to the basics.
Do not bring it up again. Do not torment your husband over woulda, shoulda, coulda. Do not torment yourself over hypothetical situations on how your child's actions could affect the way the world turns. Instead, take yourself out of it. You've done your job. Let God do His.
I hope you will stay tuned next week as I continue this thought on trusting God. If you've ever considered yourself a hot mess where you're family is concerned, please return next week.
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Here is an excerpt from next week:
None of us want to raise snot-nosed little knuckleheads that will take more than they give. But we have to stop the madness. i need to ask myself more often, "when is the last time my son changed his behavior because I lost myself in another hot mess mom episode?"